


The Taming of the Crewmate

by potatototer



Category: One Piece
Genre: M/M, today on: who's the real idiot of the straw hats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:27:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27232726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatototer/pseuds/potatototer
Summary: In the end, it was Sanji who found him.
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Kudos: 36





	The Taming of the Crewmate

In the end, it was Sanji who found him. 

“Could you be a little more grateful?” Sanji said, sighing as he stubbed out his cigarette. “That was a whole hour you wasted out of my day.”

“Never asked,” Zoro grunted, and after Sanji had punted the forty-foot tall boulder – stubbing his toe in the process, thankless job that it was – off of Zoro, the idiot got up and walked off without even a second glance.

“Wrong way,” Sanji called out after him, but when Zoro didn’t pay any attention, gave up and set out for the _Sunny_ on his own. So in the end, it was also Sanji who lost him.

* * *

Nami was less than pleased. “Are you kidding? What do we pay you for?”

“Crepes,” said Sanji, and found himself surprised at how short he was being with his favorite, most-adored crewmate. It was a testament to the heights to which Zoro could raise his temper. Sanji hated him.

“And to not be an _idiot_ ,” Nami clarified. 

“I wasn’t an idiot,” Sanji said. “I’m just sick and tired of shepherding this ingrate, and I’m sick and tired of his constant game of hide-and-seek, and the weird way I seem to be the only one with any skill at it. I don’t get it, and I don’t get him.”

“That’s why you’re an idiot,” said Nami. It was all very irritating and Sanji went to bake a loaf of sourdough instead.

* * *

The sun was setting and they hadn’t set sail yet, so probably that moron Zoro was still stuck in a tree somewhere. To an extent, albeit a very limited one, it was Sanji’s fault, so after he buttered his toast and ate it he left the kitchen to see what was going on.

“Oh, no, Zoro's back,” said Luffy, grinning at Sanji lopsidedly. “You didn’t know? Were you in the kitchen? Did you cook any meat?”

“No,” said Sanji, because it was the easiest answer. And then: “What the hell? Where is he?”

* * *

Zoro was up in the crow’s nest where he liked to be, mostly, Sanji thought, because it was impossible to get lost up there. Sanji saw him crack an eye open and then close it when Sanji approached.

“Quit acting,” said Sanji, exasperated. “How did you find your way back? Nami?”

“Hm,” said Zoro, and crossed his arms.

That was too much. “As it happens I don’t really _care_ ,” Sanji said, and turned to head back down.

“Not Nami,” Zoro clarified suddenly, and, despite himself, Sanji turned back around. “I found my way here myself.”

“No, you didn’t,” said Sanji, rolling his eyes.

“Yes, I did,” said Zoro. “There’s only one road leading to the harbor.”

“Right. And I saw you turn your back on it.”

Zoro sat quietly for a moment. Then he tipped his head slightly, gesturing to the empty spot next to him. Sanji sat down, and took a long drag on his cigarette. “Well, yeah. There’s a bar in town,” Zoro explained.

“There’s a bar on the _Sunny_ ,” Sanji pointed out.

“And,” Zoro continued, as if Sanji hadn’t said anything, “I didn’t actually need help getting out from under that boulder.”

Sanji considered that. “So I stubbed my toe for nothing.”

“It could have been for a drink,” said Zoro, very, very mildly.

After a second, when his brain had absorbed that, Sanji turned towards him and put his cigarette out on Zoro’s leg. “That’s for being the real idiot,” he said, with vindictive pleasure, “and for making a fool out of me in front of Nami.”

“Sure,” said Zoro.

He sounded a little uncertain. Sanji gave a deep sigh, then reached out and pulled Zoro in by the neck. “You could have just asked, you absolute filthy, stupid, shit-for-brains –”

“Sure,” said Zoro again, smiling faintly.

* * *

So in the end, the real end, it was whatever. Sanji was never going Zoro-hunting again. Or at least he was pretty sure he would never have to.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks very much for reading c:


End file.
